Ramble 1

So I've decided to start a little segment, which I will not deem weekly for if I set it to a schedule it will never be accomplished, therefore I deem it a once in a while rantsortathing. But anywhoo.. I really dont know if anything insightful will come from it but I'll try and keep stuff on topic....

Ok so I have realized that i am an overall negative person and I hate a lot of stuff. I think one of the things I hate the most are people. What was God thinking creating all these miserable meat sacs that only hate steal and kill their way to money only so that they can get laid. Is getting a girl to like you really the goal of human existence? We all check out the hot girl walking by and worry every morning what we are going to wear or what cologne that might catch some passer-by's attention or some dumb crap like that. Not that we should all be slobs or not dress nicely, but when do we start doing things for ourselves. Wear a dress shirt because You want to look your best. I really don't know where I'm going with this but I guess the title allows for this.
I want to be my own man and do whatever I want and not let anyone eses feelings or emotions get in the way of that. I don't just want to do art because it looks pretty or not even to simply teach a sunday school lesson or animate stupid clay things because people will be like cool I didn't think of that. I want to be the best artist that any man can be. There are those people that you just get the feeling that you want to impress them or like show that your opinions and talents would be put to good use in their eyes. Like in my history class for whatever reason I feel like when Smith asks a question I truly want to answer it and make him proud that I'm not just another one of those stupid freshmen that haven't a clue. The one man I want to honor and impress is in Heaven by the name of Mr. Ken Gaydos. Probably, well no thats a lie. THE most artistically influential man in my life whose words still ring in my head every time I draw, is someone that I want to glorify through my artwork and just simply show people that I was taught by one of the masters.
I have lost track at this point.
But still I want to rely on my arts as my lifestyle and make it a full time job. Not just in some cubicle or not some aspect of my life but my art will be my life. I want to be consumed in it and let it flow and not hold it back. I'm not doing it for anyone. Not my professors, or my friends or my university or my future job, but for myself and to create something beautiful.